It’s been a while since I last blogged! Life, with all its ebbs and flows, sometimes has the power to push you forward or make you feel like you are in a rut. That is exactly what happened to me. I felt like I am a bystander watching my life zoom by before my very eyes. I lost the joy of writing for a moment. Hopefully, this is my personal renaissance…picking the pen up where I left off!

My original intention for blogging was really to inspire others through sharing my personal experiences. In the midst of that noble intention, I forgot my why! I forgot that, while I hope to inspire others, I cannot draw from a dry well. I have to fill myself up before I can pour something out. That is what I meant by being in a rut. Others may call it as burnout, although I am not sure if that is what I was really feeling these past few years.

Don’t get me wrong! I still like what I do, professionally. Actually, I feel like life lately has provided me with so many opportunities to grow personally and professionally. I have met so many mentors and inspiring colleagues who fuel my never-ending quest for learning anything and everything! Thinking of this, my parents’ words keep on reverberating on my mind:

Maskin sa panit ka ibus, may matun-an ikaw.

That loosely means that even in the most mundane of things, there are lessons to be learned. I also remembered them telling me that not all learnings happen within the four walls of a classroom. My father should know because Tatay was a teacher. He taught drawing, physical education, automotive… Too bad I didn’t learn how to fix cars from him. That would have been the biggest dollar-saving lesson learned had I piqued any interest in learning that at all. But, some of that automotive DNA rubbed off on me. Here is exhibit A:

Before I stray too far, which I tend to do a lot, let’s revert back to the topic at hand: life lately… Like I alluded to earlier, I feel like life is just a blur. If we don’t find meaning in it, we get lost in the midst of all the humdrum noise surrounding us! Politics, disagreements, lack of mutual respect, ongoing wars… They all contribute to our individual and collective psyche. We are all about taking care of our mental health, but really, what does that mean?

Writing has always been my refuge! My go-to mental release! If I only have a dollar for all the random stuff I write about, I would be ready to retire by now, haha! Nevertheless, I became such a stickler:

• To rather not write if I don’t have an inspiring message to impart.
• To meet all the industry-defined metrics on how blogs should be done.

I became complacent because I felt that checking all those boxes mattered more. Then I realized that who really cares if my blog does not have any internal or external links? What if it does not show up in a Google search? The point is I have to get back to my why – to express myself the best way I know how. At the end of the day, reader or no reader, who am I really pleasing?

Why can’t I just write about walking my dog, Mico? Or how a colleague helped me solve my ticket for the day? Or how life’s difficulties are God’s ways of telling me to trust Him more? It’s because I tend to be hypercritical of myself and my own writing.

See, I told you! This is cathartic to me because I tend to realize things I am unaware of whenever I write. That is Johari’s window to you!

So, to tie this all up, life lately has been busy, chaotic, with some sprinkles of joy! Could it have been better? Always! But, it could also have turned for the worse.

Nevertheless, I am writing because I am grateful that there is always hope despite the dark days. That I still have time to process and organize my thoughts. That the love of my family sustains me always. That there is always good food to share. And that the Grace of God is abundant for us all whether we recognize it or not.

What about you? How has life been lately for you?