First and foremost, let me just premise that this blog post is a spur of the moment thing. It is unplanned and is not supposed to see the light of day had Facebook not Zucked (insert rolling of eyeballs emoji here)! Long story short, it irritates the old-fart nurse in me that I am not able to say thank you individually to those who wished me “Happy Birthday!”

Yes, it is my birthday. A half-a-century old! One of my friends said that 50 is the new 30. Maybe for some matters, this is definitely true. However, for others like back pain, well, 50 is the new 80!

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A Blessed Life

No, I don’t drive a Tesla nor do I own a mansion near Michael Jordan’s place. That is the reason why hub and I drive that route from time to time to just admire the rows and rows of old Chicago money manifested in those mini Italian palazzos. The fact is, our life is miles and miles far from it.

I have problems, too. A lot of them, if I may add. In fact, I have some pressing matters on my plate at this very moment.

So why do I say that I have a blessed life?

I have been fortunate enough to be born to a huge family that love and respect each other despite our individual differences and beliefs. Oftentimes, our issues are resolved after one Zoom session. Well, the first 10 minutes is reserved to talk about the concern at hand. The rest and the subsequent sessions later are spent reminiscing about the good old days spent at our grandparents’ humble home in the farm. We loved talking about how we helped out harvest coffee or dry the cacao seeds so that our Lola (grandmother) can make homemade chocolate tableya from them. Chocolate tableyas are used to make hot coco drinks ideally consumed during cold early mornings.

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My Resilient Grandparents

Our maternal Lolo (grandfather) taught us valuable lessons on trade. A farmer himself, he told us that an agreement is an agreement regardless of the circumstances. When we harvested coffee, for example, he would keep two-thirds to himself and the remaining one-third was our share. Depending on market value, he would buy our share so that we can have an allowance for school the next week.

Our maternal Lola was a market vendor. She sold salt and sugar in the market while tending to her 11 children. She inculcated in us the importance of standing up for our rights provided we are guided by the truth. Meek and soft-spoken as she was, she was a very fierce and strong woman on the inside.

Our paternal Lola, whom we called Mama, was herself a very tenacious woman. Widowed during the height of World War 2, she raised her four children by herself. Her frugal ways allowed her to send her children to good schools. Three of them became teachers, my father included, and the youngest is an architect who worked for NASA.

My Ever-Supportive Parents

My Nanay (mother) was the second child of 11 siblings. Being the eldest daughter, she was responsible for taking care of the younger children in the family. She and her elder brother became early versions of the Overseas Filipino Workers (OFW). They sacrificed going to Indonesia so that they can send money home. That much-needed financial augmentation was used to send the younger siblings to college. Once a few of them got done, Nanay and Tito (uncle) Vic came home to finally pursue their education. As much as she wanted to become a nurse, the money for nursing school was not there. So she settled with Commerce as her major.

Tatay (father), on the other hand, became the father figure early on in their family. Being the oldest son, he was Mama’s right hand when it came to raising his siblings. All of his earnings as a young Art teacher were used to help the family’s basic financial needs.

Nanay’s and Tatay’s relationship was a whirlwind one. There were only 40 days from the time they were introduced by mutual friends to their wedding day. Lolo used to remind us that, out of nervousness, Tatay even fell on the rice paddy fields when he asked for my Nanay’s hand in marriage. Who wouldn’t be anxious when aside from her father, she had five brothers, too?

As parents, Nanay and Tatay were very strict, especially when it came to academics. Tatay used to say that they didn’t have any riches to give to us as inheritance so we had to strive hard and do good in school. That way, we were assured of a better future.

Nanay’s Cardiac Problems

Even though we had struggles in life, my brothers and I didn’t feel wanting. Sure, we weren’t raised with top-notch material things but we had enough to get by. We were contented with having the basics in life, and that was what was important.

Until one day, when Nanay went to a doctor. She and Tatay were informed that she had rheumatic heart disease (RHD). She recalled that as a teenager, she had a very high fever which wasn’t appropriately treated. That rheumatic fever resulted in her RHD. She had to fly to Manila. She had to go to the Heart Center to be properly diagnosed. Nanay, unbeknownst to us, decided not to proceed with the much-needed open-heart surgery for financial reasons. You see, it was either she went under the knife and compromise my studies. Or place all her bets on my education and risk her life. We all know how that ended, sadly!

My Brothers and I

My brothers, both younger than I am, were still in school when Nanay succumbed to her heart problems. Just as both our parents inculcated within us that education is key to success, it fell upon my shoulders to help them with finishing college. Thankfully, they were able to finish their engineering degrees and are now happily settled with their respective families.

All three of us are headstrong beings! We inherited that trait from Tatay’s side of the family. Being orphaned at such young ages, we don’t easily give up. Collectively, we believe that when the going gets tough, the tough gets going!

And no, we don’t always see eye to eye. People sometimes wonder that despite being raised in the same household, we have very diverse perspectives. Nevertheless, we struggle, like all siblings do, to look at things from each other’s point of view. Worst case scenario, we just agree to disagree.

Presenting: The Apencitos

Ours is a typical Filipino family. We have aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and nephews up to several degrees of relationship. Early on in life, our cousins (all 27 of us from 11 siblings) have been raised as brothers and sisters. We equally love and fight with each other as siblings do. However, when it comes to solving problems, we stand as one, for the most part. As my husband observed, all we need is a Zoom conference call, carefully considering the different time zones we are in. Then we easily arrive at decisions or come up with financial solutions just like that.

Our older nephews and nieces have emulated those traits, and are now starting their own version of closeness. They call themselves Apencitos Jr. because, we, their parents are Apencitos. Apencito is derived from the combination of syllables from our Lolo’s name: Serafin (Apen) Lechoncito (cito).

My Life with Chez

I meet Chez (French for Chef) via Singles for Christ. He asked for my number just in case he had questions about the Catholic community we both belonged in. Very smooth eh?

He took me to a Japanese restaurant for our first date only to tell me when the bill came that he forgot his wallet at home. I was thinking to myself: “Really, you won’t pay the $20 bill we had?” To be fair, he paid me back and has been cooking whatever I want to eat ever since. Not too bad for a trade, hmm!

Aside from our own challenges as a married couple, we’ve seen each other through losing family members, job struggles, and health issues. But, we have our great days as well! In fact, we relish the time when we can have a quick getaway just to catch our breath. It could be to a National Park somewhere in the US or admiring the tulips in Keukenhof in Lisle, The Netherlands.

My best takeaway during those trips is Chez’s eagerness to try to replicate what we ate druing our vacation in his own kitchen. Lesson learned:

The next place we will have will just be kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom. No need for a living room because everyone will just hang out in the open kitchen to watch him cook.

Takeaways

Life is not perfect. It never is! Sometimes, we still desire material things, situations, and relationships that superficially appear ideal. We have that innate mentality that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Nevertheless, the blessings that are meant to come will always find a way. The most important thing is for us to be appreciative of the here and now, and continue to be open for bigger and better things to come.

I cannot say, with utmost confidence, that I am settled with life. What does that even mean? I still have goals that I want to achieve, places I want to visit, and experiences I want to enjoy. However, life, as it is right now, is pretty okay, too!

I stated in the title that I am an old-fart nurse and I am not ashamed about it. I hold traditional beliefs such as faith and family as significant. This may be boring and old-fashioned to some, but that is unapologetically who I am.

An old adage says that wine tastes better with time. I firmly believe that the older we get, the wiser we become. I’ve learned to let go of some things that used to irk me, both personally and professionally. Now, vacations, that used to be well planned down to the very last minute, are opportunities to be in the moment!

As this day ends, let me express my sincerest gratitude to all of you who have been indelible parts of my life. Thank you for your love and support all throughout these years. As my comfy bed beckons, I kiss my boys goodnight, and bid you all adieu!