People often think that to mark a milestone, someone should be celebrating something grand! Graduation from a prestigious university or a lavish wedding perhaps. It may also mean a banner birthday like the Big 4-0! With everything that we went through with the pandemic, however, doesn’t every moment deserve to be cherished?

With that being said, please indulge me as I divert for a moment from my usual nursing contents and share with you a little bit about my rock – mon beau mari. It is just essentially French for my handsome husband. No shame there because he does exemplify that, to me at least. Why, you ask?

Well, because today is his birthday. Not in the popular definition of a milestone one, if you are wondering. And no, celebrating does not necessarily mean having a party, although he’s got ingredients that can feed an army in the fridge. He just wants a quiet and low-key birthday. The exact opposite of the celebration in Paris and all of France today!

http://Photo by Thorsten technoman: https://www.pexels.com/photo/picture-of-eiffel-tower-338515/

Bastille Day

You may be wondering why I mentioned Paris and France in a post about my husband? Well, it is simply because today is Bastille Day, the Fete National of France. The fall of Bastille essentially sparked the start of the French Revolution. So you see, he and France are celebrating a milestone on the same exact day. 

Obviously, he is not French, and heavens, he doesn’t speak a word of French! Oh, I forgot, he likes to say:

le petit d’enfant (a small child)

But he did study French Cuisine in a culinary school. I know, lucky me, right?

The ironic thing about this is he rarely cooks French food at home. I like the Soupe a l’oignon (French Onion Soup), Quiche, Bouillabaisse, and Boeuf Bourguignon. In contrast, I don’t like Escargot and Steak Tartare. But, to be fair, his Creme Brulee is to die for!

Don’t you notice that I get distracted once I start talking about food? Man, what would I give to have that hotdog and crepe by the roadside next to the Eiffel Tower right this very minute!

Anyway, to get back to my point, all of the French people everywhere celebrate his birthday alongside their independence. Hopefully, sometime in the near future, he will be celebrating it in France – not necessarily in Paris or in Cote d’Azur – but somewhere in the country.

Beyond His Culinary Talents

As I said earlier, I am blessed that he has innate culinary talents aside from formally learning French Technique in school. For the most part, yes, we do eat well. Not in an expensive, fancy-schmancy way, but he can whip up a gourmet dish with the meager ingredients we may have in the fridge. The downside to that is I have to wait some time because they have to be Instagram-worthy before they can be served and devoured.

Nevertheless, he is more than just a talented chef. A very resourceful handyman, he handles some repairs at home. They may range from simple plumbing to even figuring out what is wrong with our air conditioning unit whenever summer starts. He makes do with what we have right now but never stops toiling to give me the simple pleasures in life. Some examples are an occasional full-body massage or a vacation to the nearest national park or visiting family and friends in Europe.

He is by no means a saint. Far from it, actually! However, it is given that marriage means taking the good with the not-so-good. And for 20 years we have done just that.

The Proverbial Wind Beneath My Wings

This may sound cliche but this is true. We have been through a lot of challenges – losing parents, health issues, family responsibilities back home, etc. Plus we also have our own concerns – juggling work with the rest of our life, picking up more responsibilities at home when I was working and studying full time… This list is endless. The only reason why I am able to do all these extras – blog, podcast, occasional coaching of graduate school students, conducting webinars – is because he has never wavered in supporting me.

I guess our marriage is an example of a symbiotic relationship. In essence, it is the embodiment of our wedding vows which in part states

to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer

And no, this doesn’t mean that we are always touchy-feely and lovey-dovey all the time! We have had a lot of arguments and disagreements throughout the years, but we work through them.

No Magic Formula

The key word in the previous paragraph is work! Yes, marriage is that – work, and a lot of it! It is a daily decision to love one’s partner even if he or she is unlovable that day. The saving grace for me is I found a husband who is supportive and persistent in finding ways to make sure that I am taken care of.

Also, we are not the typical “let’s always be together” kind of couple. He hangs out with his friends and travels on his own. I also do my own guilty pleasure activities like going for acupuncture or hanging out with my own tribe. Neither of us is clingy nor do we forbid each other from pursuing our respective interests as individuals. We also learn to compromise, especially when we travel. One funny story is whenever we go to Firenze (Florence), Italy, I geek out with Renaissance art while he practices his haggling skills in the mercato.

I would be the first to say that there is no magic formula as to why marriages work. For us, we just take it day by day. For the rest, we rely on God’s provision.

The Important Things in Life

Well, let me tell you – they are not things! Even if we may have some material blessings, we don’t consider them as our end all or be all. Neither are they procured for the purpose of keeping up with Joneses. We live our life by our own definition and not by the dictates of the increasingly materialistic society.

If we are able to pay it forward, in whatever way, that is the priority. Of course, we help out in which way we can. No bullying can make us feel obligated nor feel guilty about our shared life because people don’t know what both of us sacrificed to get to this point.

In the end, he and I live within our means, regardless of how people perceive it from their vantage point. I guess we have gained wisdom in our years that the only voices that matter in our life is ours and that of God.

With that being said, I express my gratefulness for the blessing of my husband. Also, thankful that he is celebrating yet another birthday!

Joyeux anniversaire, Chez! Jet’aime! Thank you for always prioritizing Mico and me.